Writers' Symposium

Saturday, July 12, 2008

World Building: Lakes and Rivers

Lakes and Rivers by anthropology student Sabrina Klein

Economics: The ecology of lakes and rivers does promote trade. The ease of transport along water ways improves the likely hood of travel a great deal. Money systems would develop in cultures that were built up on shores, more often this would happen in lakes. Rivers on the other hand may encourage groups to become nomadic among the river systems. Entire cultures may not follow this model, so it may only be a part of the culture that does.

Language: Language of rivers and lakes would be affected by ecology. River areas are far more than lakes would exhibit an effect on the ecology of the inhabitants both flora and fauna. Rivers tend to have natural geologic boundaries that in a low tech culture could serve to create a language barrier and thereby create a large group of languages or dialects. These dialects have the potential to become isolated over generations of little or no contact with other groups. The language may have the syntax affected in that it may be a slow spoken language with long sounds rather than short sharp ones. The written part would most likely not be pictographic. However the writing would be influenced by the materials at hand to create it. A good example is the papyrus paper of the Nile as opposed to the clay tablets of Sumerian culture.

Kinship & Descent: Stationary residence creates one of two effects. A tight knit community where family is extremely important, or a looser knit group where nuclear family is important and the relationship with extended family is not stressed. The choice of matrilineal or patrilineal could be entirely based on geographic community. Travel between groups may occur therefore differences in viewpoint in descent would occur as communities may be far enough apart.

Leadership & Stratification: Leadership in a culture or grouping of smaller cultures might be formed on several levels. Group coalition in an area where travel between groups is easily achieved might be the most common. Group coalition would be particularly prevalent if the group resides around a lake or group of lakes, and then they may breaks down into smaller groups of clans or tribes. Rivers would make travel a little harder, rivers flow only on direction, making the upriver trip harder. Cultures of a river system may be divided by natural barriers. Rivers, unless they are on floodplains are normally pent up in valleys which over time have been cut through hills or mountains. Natural barriers tend to isolate groups. These natural barriers in turn create smaller groups based on the size of the geographical area in question. Therefore governing systems that apply to smaller groups would best apply here, at least in a low tech culture. In a high tech culture where travel is easier across drastic landscapes the isolation of people is less therefore the idea of small based governments or large based governments would be more flexible. Not to say that just because it’s a low tech culture or group of cultures they are going to be isolated and have a smaller based governmental system… just its more likely. Besides what happens when different small governments meet either conflict or friendship… this still may lead to smaller disagreements.

Religion & Magick: Religion among inland waters would reflect both the ecology surrounding the water as well as the presence of water. It is one of the few ecologies that often blends with another. The significance of the water ways with in the cultures would dictate the significance in the religion.

World-building: In many cultures lakes and rivers hold special supernatural significance. Usually they have connections to the underworld, or to the domain of the gods. Perhaps in this culture they will be cherished as places of purity where none may go whom do not perform cleansing rituals. Some water ways would set aside for religious specialists, yet others would be used for strictly profane practices. Women might be deemed to be unclean if they aren’t married and are of childbearing age and would have to bath here rather than contaminate sacred water with their un-cleanliness. The goddess of water would be a mother goddess to signify the cleanliness of the water. The moon would play a light role as it creates the tide flow, a male god as the character for the moon. In most cultures the moon and the sun are opposite sexes. But perhaps the moon and the sun are brothers in competition for the affection of the water goddess.

Trade would be optimized by the water ways, yet the ecology surrounding the river or lake would also affect economics. Keep that in mind. Rivers are often traveled by many groups which draw languages together, so influence from another culture’s language would be defiantly possible.

Surrounding ecologies would also affect the kinship relationships, and the rivers and lakes would alter how those base ecologies build cultures. Polygamy doesn’t seem likely unless the surround ecology would promote that behavior. If the water ways are taken symbolically into the culture marriage would be extremely important. Rivers running together and lakes as singular bodies, fed by a single tributary or multiple tributaries would affect the rules off marriage where these water ways were considered symbolic of the relationships between the sexes.

If it’s a desert the water ways become essential. Forests with river systems happen frequently, lakes also occur often within woodlands. Wetlands have a symbiotic relationship with lakes and rivers therefore the culture would incorporate them the same way. Rivers found in tundra and taigas are arid climates. Rivers often spring forth from mountain tops where ice melts and flows toward the sea. Lakes in these two areas are cold and freeze over most of the year. Apply the effects of the surrounding ecology to the river and lake systems and then incorporate it into world building cultures accordingly.

World Building: Taiga

Taiga by anthropology student Sabrina Klein (also see Tundra)

Economy: the economy of the taiga would exist only within the group or groups of an area unless the traders encountered another nomadic group from a climate that was not their own. This climate is very harsh often with an average growing season of 3 months. These areas are often cool with rainfall that doesn’t evaporate. This creates a type of wetland. Trees here grow slowly and are often conifer rather than deciduous. Exports might include furs, but not likely as those would be used by the indigenous peoples. Bone beads might be an export as peoples of this ecology types throw nothing from the hunted kill away. They usually will not kill a young tree. With such a short growing season they are likely to be hunter-gatherers but not nomadic except by season; perhaps not even then, depending upon the availability and the materials used for housing.

Language: The languages would be fairly isolated. Parent language groups might exist but the dialects would evolve on their own; unless groups frequently can into contact with one another.

Social Structure: Leadership of the groups would likely not be in the hands of one individual, but most likely many. Harsh climates tend to produce wither singular leadership with a defined chain of succession or a groups leadership usually consisting of elders or the strongest individuals or both.

Kinship & descent: Kinship in a place like this would be extremely important particularly if the leadership was a hereditary based council of elders. Patriarchal or matriarchal descent patterns would be likely as well as either possibility for naming patters. The nuclear family would be essential to survival and would be held in the highest regard. There may be some care giving system for those nuclear families that have lost the main provider of food. An adoption system that would help the group as a whole survives.

Religion: Animistic cultures would thrive here. Supernatural forces are often used to explain the things with in nature that humankind (or other sentient being) doesn’t understand. It would most likely be safe to say that predators and natural forces would manifest as gods or demons. Some of the most powerful predators would be considered sources of power and deeply respected or feared.

World building: To create in this ecology is a two edged sword. The culture would be steeped in lore and very detailed, but at the same time to an outsider may seem sparse. People here would let nothing go to waste as resources are very limited. There for amenities would not be found as valuable even if they were in a stable living environment such as a permanent structure. Most things of extreme value that may be frivolous would be small even tiny.

Gods and people would be close. Life here is a precarious thing with potential fatality for any moment of stupidity for the one having the stupid moment or those surrounding them. There would be some animals that would become as members of the family; domesticated animals would be cared for with the utmost respect because of their rarity. Parts of nature would hold fearful supernatural entities, yet others would be good helpful. Supernatural forces, each, a reflection of the environment’s inhabitants.

Cold climate would create a reverence for furs, but summer would be fleeting and a thing to be enjoyed. Women of this culture may be just as capable at defending themselves again the natural elements of danger because men may be away for several days at a time on hunting trips to feed the group. They would also be important as the givers of life to the linage of the village. Depending on if the village is matriarchal or patriarchal males or females may take precedence for survival depending on the social structure of the group; which could vary from one small group to the next. Not a universal thing throughout the ecological area. There may even be some ritual surrounding the forced cultural exogamy need to keep bloodlines from becoming to inter-married.

World Building: Tundra

Tundra by Anthropology Student Sabrina Klein

The tundra is no real place for anyone to live for long period of time without the proper materials. The sun can disappear for months or shine constantly for the same time periods. The solar winds of the sub beat upon the skies to create paintings of light that to lower technologies may seem to be the magic of the heavens. This is a very cold, cold place. When world-building in the tundra this is one ecology where knowing the specifics is very important. For every one degree closer to the equator the timberline will raise 360 feet. It is there for possible to have tundra on the equator but the mountain would have to be extremely high. Vegetation is minimal and the fauna not as diverse as any other ecology. Tundra flora grows very low to the ground due to wind and other restrictive elements.

Economics: Economics of a culture living in tundra would be one trade system. Mining might be an option; usages of the mining tunnels might begin from the expansion of living quarters. Living underground usually has a constant temperature of 50-60 degrees Fahrenheit approximately. If not living in underground environment then hunting for fur would be essential to survival, but would also make an economic basis for trade for goods not obtainable in the tundra.

Language: Language would tend to evolve from the base language brought with them, and/or be part of a larger language group that was spoken by a trading community that hunted over a large area. If they were living in an underground area they may never encounter another language. Their language would remain unchanged with evolution halted or on its own. It may evolve to a point that the parent language may have little or nothing in common with it over many centuries or even as little as decades, usually longer time frames are required to change language that much from the parent vernacular.

Kinship & descent: Kinship in a group such as this would become very important. Small populations would quickly become small because of the universal taboo of incest. Almost all cultures of the world have a taboo against incest. There have been parts of cultures that take part in it, and have paid the price later. Therefore introduction of new bloodlines into the community would be very important. There may be rituals or festivals where groups come together and mass marriage ceremonies are done. This solidifies ties to surrounding communities and serves to keep the genetic pool in a community from getting to small and causing problems.

Organization & leadership: Leadership could be anything. It would most likely depend upon if the group in question was isolated or had contact with others and how much. Isolated groups would lean more toward a highly stratified unity of leadership. While a group with more contacts may be influenced to have leadership ties of some kind with a separate group. The divisions could be matriarchal or patriarchal or a mixture of both.

Religion & Magick: Religion among a people who live in such a desolate place or those who would live underground may be steeped in folklore. A place where winter is long and traps its inhabitants with in the snow is often the place of storytellers. Stories are told often when there is nothing else to do. There are other places which stories are generated and storytellers are an integral part of the culture, but in an ecology where 8 months of the year is outside the growing season fire may be essential to survival along with the hunt. Gods of these things may become so important because the material representation transforms into iconic figures within the mythology of the people. That doesn’t mean those are the only things that may become iconic. The gods’ purpose is to explain things that humanity (and other races) can’t explain such as; emotions, natural occurrences, and other things that are beyond mortal control.

World-building: Hypothetically a culture in this environment would possibly be a culture that lived within cave systems that were scattered throughout the tundra. Hunting on the surface but living where the winter has no or little effect. The group would move between cave systems either via underground passages or between the seasons. The group may have a matriarchal naming system and a patriarchal leadership. Lineage would be tracked through the mother so that her heritage would be clear. That would account for origins of the groups from village to village, so people new whom they were related to.

The god of fire would be very important and considered a good deity while the goddess of snow and ice would be a harsh and unyielding force. The summer and harvest festivals would be times of marriage and celebration. Each time would be an opportunity to rejoice in the fact that they had survived another year, or a good harvest had been secured for the winter months. Storytelling may be the province of a religious specialist or possibly the eldest people of the community. There by giving the elders a sense of purpose and a respect from the younger generation. Elder people in some cultures where survival is difficult sometimes may be regarded as a burden. However, in this case they are given a cultural relevance that is unprecedented for the young. Economic relationships would generate with outsiders more over by chance or habit. Either way very limited. The limited access also means that language would change little from outside influence, and more from internal change.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Brainstorming Book Two

Well, I managed to rewrite more of The Dragon Hunters this week. I'm up to 25% rewritten. I was hoping for 30% this week, but I ran out of energy and time.

The big thing that happened this week was a critical brainstorming session that I had with my writer friend Patrick Tracy. We spoke for two hours about the book. I'm re-dreaming the dream, that is, changing certain parts to make them more exciting. At this point I'm making a certain segment that was fairly tame into a really nasty part that shows a lot about the world and the characters. I had ideas in my mind already, but Pat helped me refine them and just talking about them was really helpful. When you speak out loud about the ideas they become more clear and concrete. You also see where you need to do more work. I highly recommend brainstorming with a writer friend to improve your work.

The overall story arc has not changed, but how events progress, the setting, and the execution is changing big time. The manuscript I have is old and I was doing a lot of point of view shifting in the same chapter when I wrote it over five years ago. I was writing the third person omniscient then and I've abandoned that to write third person limited. The reader only knows what that point of view character knows. It works well, but with this story I'm needing to break away and show a few other POV characters from time to time. Not that much, but often enough.

I will reveal that the big villain, Draglune, King of the Dragons has a point of view chapter in this book. As well as a few other new characters--at least three more. None of them have a lot of POV chapters, just a little to give the reader a taste of what's going on with them. I think it'll work well.

The story is progressing well and the tension is attaining very high levels now. I was worried about a certain character's motivation, but now I have that all figured out. Also, the villains in the book have had their story altered a little as well, making it even nastier.

This is a very complex part of the series and I'm really into showing the reader in small doses what's really happening. There's so much going on behind the scenes and the stakes have really risen now. The fate of the world is at stake and is being influenced by seemingly small events.

Also, writing a sequel is a challenge because you have to recap a little of what has gone before, but you don't want to overdo it. I think that's going well, and I'm bringing up certain information only when necessary or when a character would really think about what happened recently.

I'm going to plow ahead and go for 35-40% rewritten by July 13. My goal is to have the whole book rewritten by the end of August. I'll get the first part of the manuscript to Patrick before that, then after Patrick is done reading it, I'll get it to my writer buddy Brad Beaulieu. Once Brad's comments are done, I'll do another big rewrite, clean up the text, then get it to my editor. I don't have a deadline yet, but I think it'll be late 2008. I hope.

I'm meeting with my editor the second week of August, and hope to have lots of the book done by then.

Good luck with your own writing and don't be afraid to cut scenes that don't work. Just delete them and start over!

Best wishes,

Paul Genesse, Author and Editor

Author of The Golden Cord

Book One of the Iron Dragon Series

Saturday, July 5, 2008

World Building: Wetlands

Wetlands (a.k.a. Swamps, Fens, Marshes, Bogs, & Bayous)

An anthropological approach by Sabrina Klein

Kinship & Descent: Family life in the wetlands would be one of ever present danger. The swamps are not a safe place to wander. Fauna have an unusual ability to hide and not be seen. Vegetation on all levels here makes it extremely easy for the non-predatory fauna to hide, sometimes next to the predatory flora. This place has enough danger that the plants will eat you too, similarly so does a tropical forest.

Also large civilized populations in this type of ecology would disrupt the environment’s balance in ways that would alter the flora and fauna. People who did live in this ecology would most likely live in smaller groups, non nomadic. Families would be close together, particularly nuclear families. However, they would not be isolated. Matrilineal or patrilineal may reside here. Division of labor would be a pillar of the society, and it would need to be defined. Hunter-gatherer groups would be common because the soil in these areas doesn’t work well for agriculture.

Language: Language here would not necessarily be affected by the environment. The more than likely non-isolationist nature of villages would create a stable language group barring no geographical boundaries between dialects. Most things creating true language barriers are geographical. Boundaries can also physically unique to the life forms; such as a wolf communicating with a human in the same language. Though there may be supernatural or magical means that allow for communication.

Organization & Stratification: The most common way of organizing a group in this type of ecology would be more finite compared to other ecologies. It may include a council of elders. The oldest people may be revered, the dangers of the wetlands are many and to grow old may indicate wisdom apart from the group. This is the way it is in several ecologies. Usually this is more often the case in correlation with the lower levels of technology. The dangers of wetland don’t come from just the flora or the fauna, but they come from the land itself. Age might very well become a way of marking prestige. Therefore leadership may be based on age, with coming of age rituals becoming very important. Whether it is age or sex that sets up the leadership in a group; caste systems simply don’t seem to be the normal idea for a wetland culture. They could interfere with survival of the group in such a harsh environment, particularly if the swamp (insert random a.k.a. for swamp…) is prone to freezing during the winter months if the latitude or elevation permits.

Economics: High trafficked trade routes in a swamp may prove to exist most often inside groups that are within the geographical boundaries. Travel with large amounts of goods for anything other than trade might not be well received unless there is a river or lake system within the swamp making transportation of goods and services less of a hardship and less expensive. Wheeled vehicles that are not of a high enough technological advancement to navigate through unstable ground and through often heavy vegetation would not be used to transport goods for trade over long distances. The building of roads in wetlands would, most likely, dictate a higher level of technology than hunter gatherer, or the presence of a previous culture of higher technological advancement. Wheeled vehicles may not be used at all. Animals would more than likely be used over land, or watercrafts on river and lakes present in the area. Canal systems would indicate a large workforce (possible slave labor, forced labor by the hierarchy, and/or the technology to build them with machines. At the very least a canal built without technology would take a long time depending on the distance. Watercrafts may be the mode of transportation if a river or lake system is present, or even if the water table is high enough to create water through most of the area.

Religion & Magick: Religion and magick are often related. Religion would most likely be nature based in a low tech culture, and possibly ancestor worship in a high-tech culture. Civilizations in this ecology see too much of natures precariousness within the land itself to not assign it a supernatural anima. Ancestor worship may also take hold in addition to or independently depending on the social stratification. Religion always has the potential for elaborate rituals in whatever technology level that it creates. Where there is an environment that constantly poses a threat to survival via the flora, fauna, geologic features, or weather conditions cultures are more likely to view that gods must be appeased. Such as virgins being thrown into volcanoes to appease the volcano and keep it from erupting… we all know how well that works. The rituals may or may not be deeply rooted within the culture. However influence of another culture especially with a higher technological understanding of the environment may affect these rituals. The question really is how; do the natives react to the assault on their gods.

World-building in a Wetland: Isolation with in a wetland environment may be a serious issue affecting all cultures within it. So you may have many smaller groups that have language differences. The language difference because of close proximity may not create a barrier constantly. Some languages would be more common than others. Possibly even a common tongue maybe the vernacular of the majority. Economics in such an environment would prove to be interesting. Trade may use a barter system or a system of hard currency. There probably wouldn’t be market places. The swamp itself would have to be cleared. Natives would know that to do that creates more problems that it is worth. However, it does create a hunter gatherer society. That in turn because wetland is never good farm land means no agrigarian set ups. Farming would be difficult. I would be possible to cultivate an area where a grove of say berry bushes already existed. People may take the other invasive plants from strangling out the flora endangering a food source, but nothing more than that is really possible. Eventually the carrying capacity will cause one of two things to happen. The groups will split on its own to find more sustenance, or the groups will stay cohesive and move to find a lesser populated area where their larger numbers will be more easily supported.

The organization for such a group(s) could vary from one to another or there could be one intermittent council of leadership. Whether that is matriarchal or patriarchal is perhaps influential by several factors…religion, how is kinship defined. Is it matrilineal or patrilineal? This often will help define the power structure of a group. Religion may also play a defining role in the way a group is stratified. Hunter-gatherer groups tend to rely on their faith to fix sickness and to keep the environment at bay. Religion in these environments is often used to explain the unexplained particularly where technology is low. A low tech religion will often anthropormorphize something that poses a great danger; For example the Mayan and the Jaguar, the Hawaiian volcanoes and Pele, and the Greek god Zeus as the entity responsible for storms.

Religious specialists are often also caretakers of the sick. Usually only one sex has connection with the supernatural, but it would be fun if it were both. Defined by ability, or perceived ability by the current religious specialist. If it was what rituals surround this choosing, and when does it happen. Are there portents to its coming? Are there taboos? Magick of these religions is often heavily tied to the lands around it.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Dimension Next Door

The cover of the book with my newest short story.

Dear Friends,

Good news! Today, I officially sold The Dragon Hunters, Book Two of the Iron Dragon Series. It should come out in late 2009. No exact release date yet, but we even have a cover in mind, painted by the same artist who did book one, The Golden Cord, which is still selling really well and is in its third printing already. Thank you all again for your amazing support! Please keep telling your friends about it and post some reviews online.

The other news is that I just had a story come out July 1, in a collection called The Dimension Next Door edited by Kerrie Hughes and Martin H. Greenberg ($7.99 from DAW Books). It’s available in any bookstore or online.

My story, titled God Pays, takes place on December 21, 2012, the last day of the ancient Mayan calendar . . . and possibly the end of the world. Professor Nina Carreño, a linguistic archaeologist specializing in ancient Maya pictograms and dialects gets some dire news from her doctor. Nina leaves her fiancé and her entire life behind and travels to the place where she remembered being very happy: Lamanai, an ancient ruined city in the Yucatan. She thinks the end of the world idea is totally ridiculous, but her own personal doomsday brings her to a place she never expected.

I really enjoyed writing this and was inspired by a story from my friend Glenn Lee, who visited the Yucatan some time ago and met a tour guide who had a very interesting experience in the ruins of an ancient Mayan city. I’ll blog about the original story sometime.

Please download the free and newest issues of the Writers Symposium Ezine for more cool books.

The Dimension Next Door

13 original stories about the realities just around the corner . . .

Movements glimpsed out of the corner of your eye, inexplicable sounds, knowledge for which there is no rational explanation, dreams that seem as real as our own everyday life—products of overactive imaginations, or unexpected glimpses into dimensions beyond our own? Join thirteen intrepid writers as they explore those unknown territories that may be found in any of countless Dimensions Next Door.

From a Celtic knot maze that could trap an unwary archaeologist; to an Internet site that offers to bring karmic balance into one man’s life; to a man bespelled to walk the future in the service of his queen—here are tales of the strange, challenging, and often wondrous worlds just waiting to be discovered by those with the ability to perceive them.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Writers' Symposium Ezine Issue #3

The Writers' Symposium Ezine

“Helping Writers Write”

Issue #3, June 2008

View the beautiful full color version with dozens of color pictures or download the PDF with all the good stuff at www.paulgenesse.com/writerssymposiumezine

To subscribe, or unsubscribe please email:

WritersSymposium@paulgenesse.com

Visit the Writers’ Symposium Blog at www.WritersSymposium.blogspot.com

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Contents

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From the Editor: Brad Beaulieu

Feature Article: Hook’em and Don’t Let Go

Featured Author Bio: Paul Genesse

Feature Article: Paul’s Favorite Books on Writing

Releases From the Writers’ Symposium

List of Current Writers’ Symposium Members & Contact Info

Final Thought

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From the Editor

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Hello and welcome to Issue 3 of the Writer’s Symposium Ezine. This is my first time in the editor’s seat, so I thought I’d introduce what we have coming up. In this issue we have an article of mine that first appeared in the Broadsheet, the newsletter from Broad Universe. For those of you ready to hunt for an agent, do not pass up this article.

Our featured author this issue is the inimitable Paul Genesse. Paul’s excellent debut book, The Golden Cord, has been out since April 15, and is doing incredibly well. This is due in no small part to the book signing and speaking tour—a swing through a number of western states—that Paul recently concluded. It also might have something to do with, well, the rocking story Paul wrote. Paul provided a few of his favorite books on writing, and we also have some small blurbs on recent appearances by the Writers’ Symposium authors. So, without further ado: please, read and enjoy.

Bradley P. Beaulieu, Editor

www.quillings.com

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Feature Article: Hook’em and Don’t Let Go by Brad Beaulieu

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Anyone who's been trying to sell novel-length fiction for any amount of time can tell you how quickly the rejections can stack up and how frustrating it can be to get someone to even look at your manuscript. If you're like me, you've submitted dozens of query letters hoping someone will at least ask for a few pages of the manuscript before handing you a rejection. I mean, that's fair, right--to at least look at the material before you reject it?

Trouble is, agents and editors receive many, many more queries than they can possibly accept. It's not uncommon to find agents receiving 75 queries or more per day. Can you imagine trying to read partials from them all? Impossible, especially when you consider they've got their normal work for their already-accepted clients to do as well. Like it or not, this is the state of publishing today, and I hope it brings to light the importance of the query letter. It is your chance, your two seconds, to say what you want before the door is closed, possibly with you still on the outside.

The goal of this article is to dig into the query letter and, more specifically, to focus on one crucial component called the hook. What is the hook? It's a single sentence placed in the opening of your query letter that sums up your entire work or (less commonly) gives some interesting bit of information about you. It is, by necessity, brief, and the reason should already be clear: agents do not have time to read every word of everything they receive. Many agents will not even read the whole query letter if your hook isn't compelling.

You may be tempted to belittle the importance of the hook, to gloss over it and move on to more "important" matters, but let me dissuade you against such thoughts. Gina Panettieri, of the Talcott Notch Literary Agency, states, "The hook is extremely important. Agents and editors are astonishingly busy people and a great number of queries and cover letters are thrown at them daily. When pressed for time, it's easiest for an overworked agent to try to make decisions based on reading as few words as possible." According to Ms. Panettieri, only about 10 percent of the hooks she reads make her sit up and take note. Another 20 percent catch her attention, but are not overly compelling. And the final 70 percent? No zing. No pizzazz. And, needless to say, the chances of the agent not finishing your query letter (much less asking for a partial) increase the more your hook fails to impress. And you certainly don't want to fall into this category: about 10 percent of the hooks Ms. Panettieri receives "... are just so general, I walk away with no clear picture of the project."

Ok, hopefully I've convinced you of the importance of the hook. Let's move on to brass tacks. One quick note: the concepts described below apply equally to an agent or an editor, but for brevity's sake, we'll use the term "agent" for both.

Let's discuss what not to do before moving on to what you should do. First, don't open by saying your novel is the next Harry Potter or that you're the next Anne McCaffrey. Better to open with a strong hook, because you'll only be putting the agent off with such grandiose statements. Let me be clear here: it's not a bad idea at all to compare your work to others in the market, but do your research. Find books that are similar to yours in style and tone. You can then compare and contrast to bring out your novel's strengths, and the agent will have a much better idea of where your book will stand in the market. And, to boot, their estimation of you as a businessperson will probably have been raised a notch or two in the process.

On a similar note, don't proclaim your book as a sure-fire best seller. What a statement like this really tells the agent is that you have unrealistic expectations, don't know the business, and may be hard to work with because of it.

Next, don't waste your hook on trying to be funny. Humor is very subjective, and too many people think they're funny when they're not. Heap on the fact that the agent may simply not be in the right mood for it, and it all adds up to a big no-no. I'll put my money on businesslike over funny any day.

Another ineffective (and, in my opinion, rude) technique cited by Ms. Panettieri is to quote glowing praise from another agent who has rejected your novel. Frankly, this is like handing your girlfriend a rose that has flecks of dung sprinkled on the petals. The agent can't exactly be enthused about a project that, by your own admission, has been rejected by someone else. Too, this technique implies that the agent wasn't your first choice: another annoying bit of information they don't need to know. Do they realize the novel might have been previously rejected? Yes. Do they know they might not have been the first agent you queried? Of course. But there's no need to put it in your query, no matter how glowing the prior rejection might have been.

Ok, let's move on to what you should do. You have a single sentence in which to describe your whole novel, right? Well, not exactly. What you're trying to do is to create buzz, to snag the reader's attention, to give them that intangible that will lure them onward. There are several choices to make when it comes to the hook's content, but it's all about putting your best foot forward. In other words, don't wait until the end or even the middle of the query letter before you present the hook; don't assume the agent will always read on to discover just how awesome your novel is. Open with your strong suit, right up front, and that will bolster the chance of them becoming compelled by the argument that you have a piece of work ready for publication. Your best asset might be your expertise in the subject matter of the work, or it might be prior publications (and most times these are preferable), but for a great many of us, the hook will be a summation of your story using its most unique facet, and that's what we'll focus on.

To do this, you must distill your story down to its essence, making sure to bring out its most unique facet as you do so. I'll illustrate with one of my own novels, simply because I have the hooks that progressed from, well, not-so-good to not-too-shabby. This novel was about a young painter who discovered a crystal that allowed him to read minds. I wrote a hook that had some merit, but it failed to focus on that one, unique aspect of the story that would snag the reader. In other words, I created a rather ho-hum hook:

A simple artist is thrown into the intrigues of an elite crime organization. The harder he tries to escape from his fate, the further he's pulled in.

See what I mean? Not only that, I used two sentences to do it. The hook did manage to capture protagonist, antagonist, and the general struggle at hand, but it fails to impress. There's nothing unique about this that the agent hasn't seen a hundred times or more already. She might have even seen it a few times that day!

My next attempt was little better:

The story is about a Victorian-era artist who battles the forces of organized crime to save family and country.

The only thing that really changed here is the addition of setting and an allusion to the stakes. It's a minor improvement, but it doesn't quite get the juices flowing, does it?

After this query letter had crashed and burned (by the way, up to this point I had received zero requests for partial manuscripts after sending out roughly fifty queries) I attended a short seminar on writing the hook. I finally understood the hook's primary goal is not to butter up the agent for the good stuff that's to come, it's to catch their attention immediately so that they have a reason to read on. With this in mind, I gave it one more shot:

The story is about an ambitious artist who must defeat the forces of organized crime before they discover his secret of capturing thoughts in his paintings.

Now, this is no masterpiece, but the hook now contains the most unique facet of my novel: the fact that the protagonist can capture thoughts in paintings. This, I had to admit, was probably something an agent would not see every day. To test the waters, I sent a revised query with little else changed to six agents and received four requests for partials. Not a bad change. (As an aside, to make sure your expectations are not falsely heightened, I sent a larger batch of queries some time later and received something closer to a 15% positive response as opposed to the 75% referenced above. This is a more realistic response for a good hook from an unknown writer.)

Let's move on to something you know more about. Let's try creating a hook for a movie instead: The Matrix. Let me suggest that you stop reading and try to come up with your own hook; see if you can come up with a single line to encapsulate The Matrix, making sure to bring out the film's most unique element(s).

What's unique about The Matrix? Well, there's the notion that the world is not real, that we're actually all slaves to the Matrix. What if we went with that? We'd want to bring Neo into the picture, somehow, and describe his realization of this staggering fact and perhaps give hint to his subsequent struggles. Remember, too, that we don't hide anything from the agent. We lead with our best asset.

Neo--corporate clone by day, hacker in cyberspace by night--discovers that the world around him is a facade, that the real world is a place where all humans save a precious few rebels are enslaved, and he must now decide what to do about it.

Or perhaps you think Neo's abilities in the Matrix are the most unique element. In that case, perhaps we'd end up with something like:

Neo begins a journey as a self-styled hacker in cyberspace, but as he discovers just how far his abilities in the Matrix extend, it ends with the realization that he's the key to saving humanity itself.

All right, one last go. Maybe you think that The Matrix is really a story about how love can overcome anything. We'd want to give some hint to the love that blossoms between Neo and Trinity even among the grime of "reality".

Neo never believed in true love, at least not until the mysterious and beautiful Trinity leads him to the other side of cyberspace.

These examples aren't exactly poetry, but I hope they shed enough light on the subject for you to continue the experiment with your own work. For added practice, continue this hook exercise with other novels or movies. Try to create hooks for a story you've just finished or a movie you've just seen. One source I can recommend is the Internet Movie Database. It doesn't have hooks, per se, but it does have movie poster taglines for newer releases. These taglines are similar to hooks in many ways. Read through those phrases and soak in the punch they're trying to deliver. Now go dig into your story, find that one element that's most unique or enigmatic or luminous, and incorporate it into your hook. Then hone it until its sharp enough to cut skin.

Comment on the article on the Writers’ Symposium Blog: www.writerssymposium.blogspot.com

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Featured Author: Paul Genesse

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A toy castle is probably what sent Paul Genesse over the edge. It may have been what led him to announce at the ripe age of four that he was going to be a writer.

During Paul’s days at Northern Arizona University he loved his English classes, but pursued his other passion by earning a bachelor’s degree in nursing science in 1996. He is a registered nurse on a cardiac unit in Salt Lake City, Utah, where he works the night shift keeping the forces of darkness away from his patients.

The Golden Cord, the opening book of Paul’s Iron Dragon Series came out in April of 2008 from Five Star Books features a cover by the amazing artist Ciruelo Cabral. The other four books in the series have already been written. Book one has already sold out of its first printing and the second printing is selling well.

Paul’s short stories include: Almost Brothers, the lead story in the Fellowship Fantastic anthology from DAW Books (2008); The Pirate Witch, in The Pirates of the Blue Kingdoms (May of 2007) from Popcorn Press; The Queen’s Ransom, published in Blue Kingdoms: Shades and Specters (October 2007, Walkabout Publishing) and The Mob in Furry Fantastic. Paul also has short stories in The Dimension Next Door (DAW, July 2008), Blue Kingdoms: Buxom Buccaneers (Walkabout Publishing, 2008), Imaginary Friends (DAW, September 2008), Catopolis (DAW, December 2008), and Terribly Twisted Tales (DAW, 2009).

Paul’s current project is Medusa’s Daughter, a fantasy set in ancient Greece. Read samples of his work at www.paulgenesse.com where you can watch a book trailer about The Golden Cord or see his Fox News TV interview.

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The Golden Cord

The dragon king rises, and a hunter must leave behind the woman he loves, give up all hope of survival, as he is forced to guide his most hated enemies to the lair of the beast that threatens to enslave their world.

What the reviewers are saying about The Golden Cord by Paul Genesse.

“Book one of the Iron Dragon series is a rich and compelling fantasy full of adventure, danger, dragons, battles, revenge, magic, and more.” (full review below)

VOYA Magazine
Sara Cofer

“The Golden Cord is indeed a hellishly good read.”
The Pedestal Magazine
JoSelle Vanderhooft
“This debut novel promises to unlock a realm of magic and warfare in a unique world of cloud-bound lands and a mysterious Underworld.”

Library Journal, Jackie Cassada

Sara Cofer at VOYA Magazine writes:

The Golden Cord: Dragons and Griffins are not the only dangers facing Clifton, a secret village in Ae’leron. The Dwarves enslave humans for their armies, forcing them into hiding. Drake Bloodstone, Clifton’s most vigilant guardian, would do anything to protect his people from Aevians and Dwarves. Ridiculed for choosing to guard instead of hunt, Drake realizes his destiny as a hunter when two Dwarves arrive in Clifton. The Dwarves seek a guide who will lead them on a quest to find their lost kin. Drake feels it is his sacred destiny to escort the Dwarves and volunteers to be their guide. After a few days, Drake discoveres the Dwarves are hiding their true purpose. They reveal that while they are in search of their lost kin, they are also Dragon Hunters and are tracking Draglune, the King of Dragons and the most Ancient Evil, who will bring a great war that will end the world. Drake knows he must do everything in his power to help stop Draglune and save his people. Book one of the Iron Dragon series is a rich and compelling fantasy full of adventure, danger, dragons, battles, revenge, magic, and more.
Readers will root for Drake, a strong character who struggles both physically and mentally with the sacred duty handed to him. Drake is becoming a man while learning to follow his heart and trust his enemies in order to save everything he loves. The plot is well constructed, the characters are wonderful, and the middle-ages setting creates an ominous feel. The cliffhanger ending will leave readers eager for more of this great recommendation for fans of Lord of the Rings.

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Paul’s Favorite Books on Writing

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Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Brown and Dave King is an invaluable book for writers. It is packed with concrete examples of how to make your work of a professional quality. It helped me become a published author with a growing list of short stories and novels.

The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman is a very practical guide to writing a good book. The advice he has is right on and helped me break into publishing. I applied his ideas to my first novel and it got the attention of several editors. This is a book that will really pay off.

How To Write A Damn Good Novel by James N. Frey is one of my favorite books on writing. The principles he teaches are incredibly powerful. They helped me so much as I wrote my first novel, which was subsequently accepted for publication. James N. Frey's advice is very insightful. I applied it to my own writing and made my books and stories much better. It's a quick read and worth adding to your collection--especially if you want to break into writing.

Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card is a definitive guide to the different forms of point of view (POV). Card describes each type of POV and their variations, and explains the strengths and weaknesses of each. I believe this is an incredibly important guide to beginning writers and even veterans wanting to gain more knowledge about certain types of POV.

Beginnings, Middle & Ends by Nancy Kress helps you start your book with a bang and then keeps the action going to the end. Too many books lag in the middle, or start slow. If you follow the advice presented, your novel will be much better. Her advice on hooks is worth the cover price. I liked the book a lot and have referred back to it several times as I went from newbie writer to published writer.

Comma Sutra: Position Yourself for Success with this grammar book by Laurie Rozakis Ph.D. I don’t think there are any other books on grammar as funny as this one.

Writers’ Symposium Member Releases

Editor, Kerrie Hughes has a new anthology with 13 brand-new stories about the realities just around the corner from our own, featuring stories by Paul Genesse, Brad Beaulieu, Don Bingle, Chris Pierson, Steven Schend and Anton Strout.

Brad Beaulieu’s short story, “Lest Our Passage Be Forgotten”, is in Realms of Fantasy. It’s a story about the Land of the Dead, about those still living, and the fireworks that connect the two. It came out in the March/April issue of the magazine. He also has a story called “No Viviremos Como Presos", which was picked up by Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show releasing in late 2008.

Anton Strout’s novel, Dead To Me is an urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of law—with talents that come from left field. This just in: it’s very, very, very,

funny. And Ace books has given Anton a five book deal!

Luke Johnson is the editor and co-author of several gaming books. Check out his World of Warcraft book, Dark Factions. See all of his gaming related work at: www.lukejohnson.com

Imaginary Friends: Thirteen original tales of those companions—some human—some not, conjured from imagination in times of need. Featuring stories by Paul Genesse, Don Bingle, and the ghost editing of John Helfers.

The Fellowship Fantastic Anthology, edited by Kerrie Hughes, features stories by several Writers’ Symposium members: Paul Genesse, Don Bingle, Chris Pierson, Brad Beaulieu and the famous Alan Dean Foster.

Future Americas: Oh say can you see— sixteen original stories about the America to come. Sixteen authors have taken up the challenge of gazing into the future and seeing where America may be the day after tomorrow. Edited by John Helfers and featuring a story by Don Bingle.

Under Cover of Darkness, edited by Julie Czerneda and Jana Paniccia. The Prix Award Winning Anthology featuring Shadow of the Scimitar by Janet Deaver-Pack. From the true role of the Freemasons to Chronographers who steal pieces of time to an assassin hired by a group that reweaves the threads of history, here are fourteen imaginative tales of time and space and realms beyond our own-all watched over, preserved, or changed by those who work covertly under cover of darkness.

Future Wars edited by Denise, War—what is it good for? It’s good for 19 all-new tales from the battlefield...
Nineteen all-new tales that look at war from the perspective of everyone from human to alien, pixie to toy. From epic intergalactic struggles for the future of humankind to the microcosm of a single abandoned toy soldier in a boy’s backyard; from a chemical experiment gone horribly wrong to a young recruit who may hold the key to “understanding” the enemy; from a half-mortal knight trying to avert a war with the Elfin Host to a Battle of Trenton fought against seven-foot tall Saurians, Front Lines brings together a diverse array of imaginative explorations of the phenomenon of war. Featuring a story by Symposium member Don Bingle and others.

Dagger-Star, a novel by Elizabeth Vaughan was released in April from Berkly Sensation and has gotten excellent reviews. After captivating readers with her Chronicles of the Warlands trilogy, our very own USA Today Bestselling author, Elizabeth Vaughan now returns to that world with a beguiling tale of daggers and destiny, a cold and beautiful mercenary known as Red Gloves, and Josiah, a lone fighter emerging from the torched fields and razed farms of his homeland. All Josiah knows about the mysterious woman is her dagger-star birthmark, a sign that she is destined to free the people from a ruthless usurper's reign of terror.

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss is now out in paperback and has become a New York Times Bestseller! It also won the prestigious Quill Award! Please visit www.patrickrothfuss.com for more about the book and the amazing author.

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Writers’ Symposium Members—Visit them on their sites or on the W.S. Blog

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Jean Rabe www.jeanrabe.com

Paul Genesse www.paulgenesse.com

Don Bingle www.orphyte.com/donaldjbingle

Brad Beaulieu www.quillings.com

Anton Strout www.antonstrout.com

John Helfers stonehenge@new.rr.com

Pat Rothfuss www.patrickrothfuss.com/blog/blog.html

Luke Johnson www.lukejohnson.com

Kelly Swails www.kellyswails.blogspot.com